what's left of me

is this the end? i hope not. i'm going to miss you. at least i think i would.

as ubiquitous as mert & mercer.

as much as i love kate moss, it appears that ms moss is everywhere these days. overdose (no pun intended kate!) much? she's appearing in the new CK ad, the LV ad, the cavalli ad and now, 9 months after the head-honchos at burberry's bid adieu to our dear kate, they've put her back as the (re?)new face of burberry's fall '06 collection along with stella tenant. and it appears that everyone's daughter/son/niece/nephew is being debuted in this ad campaign. nepotism pays y'all! how i wish my last name is ferry/irons/hicks (as in sophie). shot by mario testino, the ad campaign is fabulous. i like them better than mert & mercer's shots for LV.



much thanks to vogue.uk for the picture and info.

hey nicole!!

ok. another obsessive post about nicole richie again! hah.

lucky thing she didn't wrap the head scarf around her head, that would have been a MAJOR fashion mishap. clash of patterns much? hah. so i completely love how she looks here. not too crazy about the dress though. wonder who's it by. i don't quite fancy the cut around the neckline. the pattern i can take, the cut - i'm not feeling!


BUT wot i do love, and it's not hard to guess, is the eggplant balenciaga! reckon she only has one lariat and she dyes them in different colours to match her outfits? ummm, i think not! hah. i wanna be her best friend! like totally! can you imagine the wardrobe inside the richie mansion? i think it's like a mini balenciaga boutique! haha. move over la lohan. i'm moving in! i'm completely in my own world! LOVES IT!

and is that DJ Am in the background? i'm so hoping she's getting back with him. rumour has it (well, according to Stuff magazine at least) that she was seen getting comfy at a night club with - get this - matt dillon. ew! when i read that, i was completely shocked! makes me wanna clutch my pearls and say "nay!".

and speaking of la lohan. the couture-loving, actress celebrated her 20th birthday yesterday, 2nd july. happy birthday! love ya bitch! here's one of her and nicole. BFFs yo!


much love to smart. for the pictures

asian invasion

while du juan is making her rounds in Louis Vuitton's Fall 06 campaign (and perhaps YSL), her other asian counterparts are not keeping quiet. so Miuccia Prada has picked asian beauties as the new faces of Miu Miu's Fall 06 collection. i've only seen the ad campaign once on Urban (a singaporean fashion/lifestyle news pullout) and so still waiting with bated breath for it to appear online or in magazines. it's for fall so i'm guessing it'll be out this month or early august. so brace yourself for mainland chinese actresses zhou xun and dong jie together with japanese model lina ohta.

i'm slightly weirded out by this sudden crave for asian invasion in the fashion world. and i'm completely thrown off course by this peculiar choice of spokesperson for Miu Miu. isn't Miuccia very well-known for being unapologetically aryan? as in, with the exception of naomi campbell, there hasn't exactly been models/spokesperson of a different ethnic background in a prada/miu miu campaign or runway. i suppose times have changed. still, i can't wait for the ad campaign!

Louis Vuitton 06 - It doesn't ads up!

ok, i'm not too thrilled about the whole ad campaign for LV's Fall 06 collection. i think it's nice, rather artistic. quite avant garde. but i cannot comprehend the bags! i understand the "must have" trend of leopard prints but i'm very unamused and not even slightly impressed by the design of the bag! not since Fendi decided that it was fabulous(obviously a bad design mistake) to showcase a whole collection of racoon/squirrel inspired bags, have i seen an uglier collection of bags. what is up with the make up? i reckon it's to portray opulence of some sorts. it works, i guess but tacky. tacky. tacky. pretty much sums up the LV collection, no?

meanwhile, i think the ads are gorgeous, no?



after all the drama kate moss went through the past year, i think it's great to see her bounce back into the limelight and show the world why she's still our most beloved supermodel! again, not too thrilled about the bags or the red suede-looking top!

raquel zimmermann never looked better, eh? i think the baubles look like they are alive and about to eat raquel's face though! too huge. and du juan. i'm not her biggest fan. i think she's great but she lacks the oomph. however, kudos on scoring this campaign (and from what i've heard the YSL campaign as well!).










and can i say "haute beyond hott!"? i LURRVE daria. ms werbowy hams it up again with this incredible shot for LV! behold the stunning bone structure! i'm completely enamoured. reminds me of her lancome beauty shot!

nicole balenciaga sightings!

ok, i think i should just create a new blog for my nicole richie and balenciaga sightings! hah. this is getting crazy. my obssession for the both of them is going wayyy out of control! haha. she's my muse and i so wanna carry a balenciaga!

Sighting #1

LOVES her! tres fabulous mc fab! i mean honestly, just imagine this simple fabulosity. she's rocking the "simple deconstructed" white tee (in my words, vagabond chic yo!) and skinny jeans! i'm working towards that now. i'm starting to trust myself in wearing more white t-shirts. hah! and the skinny jeans with flip flops! LOVES it! i don't think i can ever pull off that head scarf though! it's too bryanboy for me. too i'm channelling my mom. OVERSIZED shades!! gosh. i call it the nicole richies and honestly, most people call them those too! we're doing our best to channel nicole! haha. when you have a pair of shades nicknamed after you (think Jackie O shades) then you know you're a style icon! i want them! balenciaga le dix motorcyle in black!

Sighting #2


OMG! like starbucks is totally out y'all and coffee bean is in! throw out your venti chai lattes (buh bye MK and Ashley!) and get yourselves a cup of something something from coffee bean! we love you nicole! and the jumpsuit/shorts - LOVES it! i'm trying to find the right pair of shorts. i'm rather tall so it'll look slightly off if my shorts are too short! hah. can you imagine a 6'3" tall guy in short shorts! i can even bring myself to imagine! haha. and what's this? the head scarf seems to be the new trend nowadays, eh? and to complete the whole nicole richie look? nothing does it better than a balenciaga in mustard/canary yellow! gotta love nicole!

much love to justjared for the pictures!

the way we wore.

alright, we've talked about my crazy obsession with Balenciaga by Nicholas Ghesquiere right? so anywho, look who decided to pump gas in a very fabulous jap-inspired wrap dress.

clearly nicole richie is tres chic! epitome of fashion fabulous-ness. here, the fuction of an arm is redefined by nicole: as rails for the mustard-yellow balenciaga city motorcycle to hang off on.

tres chic. tres fab! it's very konnichiwa/samurai chic yo! behold the bejewelled t-mobile sidekick glowing like temple lanterns. i want them!







meanwhile. lindsay lohan clearly is a fashion miss in july's Harper's Bazaar! what a waste of a good equestrian-inspired balenciaga outfit! ms lohan needs to just stick to carrying the bags and leave the editorial spreads to the likes of kate hudson. incidentally, ms hudson is on the cover of july Vogue . talk about hottness! that's why Vogue's the leading fashion mag in the world. it's like the fashion bible. anna wintour is good at picking the right people. glenda bailey still got lots to learn from the great. looks like the shoes left by the legendary late liz tilberis were too big for her to fill. pity actually. i really do love harper's and i adore lindsay. but my love for balenciaga runs a little bit furhter!




need i say more?

anyways, thanks to justjared for the pictures!

wot's happening?

wot is happening to me. why am i unloading my emotional insecurities and woteva crap onto phil!?

stop it princess sparkle. deal with it yourself. they have enough problems of their own, they don't need to be burden by yours!

i am a smart person. wot happened? why have i let my insecurities take over my life? my world? my everything? is it my diet? not per se. part of it. but not in it's entirety. it magnifies certain things.

just get over it please. if you have to throw yourself up against the wall then just do it!

envy hurts so much..

i am starting to develop a disorder. a compulsive need to get even thinner or smaller. i keep staring at myself through the mirror. i'm convinced that something is wrong. i don't think i'm any smaller. sure i'm now able to fit into smaller clothes and smaller jeans. yes, i am now able to pull off a pair of dorothy perkin's women's capri. but it's al too odd for me.

i keep thinking i am fat. and that i am getting fatter with each bite-sized meal that i took. i could not stop myself from feeling guilty after a meal. i'd guilt myself to stop eating. if i was really hungry, i'd take a small bite of something. but that made it even worse. just makes me think i'm cheating on my own body. on my whole regime. no wonder i'm not losing enough weight. no wonder i am still fat.

i get cold easily nowadays. my face is slightly sunken. almost skeletal? ok, i think i exaggerate but that's how it is when your face and your body and everything else about you are not proportionate. i hate it. when i get smaller, my face gets even smaller. but nothing else changed. at least i think so.

i hate how my nose is not sharp or slightly pointed. i think my lips are lob-sided. the right side is thinner than the left. i don't have full lips. i thought i had nice lips and a nice smile. well, at least that's what people told me. but what were they looking at? everything about me is so disproportionate. how can they even look at me.

no longer do i question why no one in clubs have tried to pick me up thus far. i mean, since i've got this "new" body of course. maybe i wasn't paying attention but thre's just something about the whole deal. it just sickens me.

Sunday saw us pulling an impromptu clubbing act to Happy. and so, i had no one trying to dance with me. perhaps it's my dressing. missJ said that my top was slightly too big. but i dunno. i think i am going crazy. i hate this.

insomnia galore. this is the *fill in number here* night that i am staying up this late. i haven't been able to sleep early nowadays. i think it's the side effects of the pills. my moods are rather erratic. and i think i'm going crazy. emotional overload.

my thought process has been rather incoherent lately as well. evidently so in this post. i need to re-group. fuck. i don't know what the fuck is going on anymore.

i envy the thin. the beautiful. the perfect. i want to be emaciated as well. but it hurts. badly.

D.I.L.F

so i work in an art school for kids. basically, i'm like their PR person. so i get to meet the parents as they send their children for the art classes.

at the present moment, a dad is sitting across the room from me and my gosh he's droolsome. see, parents are allowed to wait for their kids if they want to and we have a big couch -casting couch size- for them to lounge around and wait. and he's just sitting there, or rather lying back into the couch so far, i'm tempted to go over and straddle him.

he's wearing a pair of khaki berms with those colourful pair of birkinstocks. las week he came in matching crocs sandals with his boy. they're so adorable and he's so cute i can hardly contain myself. jin pointed him out to me. i didn't think he was that droolsome before. just a normal good looking dad but he's so gentle with his son, it melts me to see them together.

i can't believe i'm thinking of naughty thoughts about my student's dad but can't help it, can i? lust and love hit you when you least expects it.

i like the twinkle in his eyes everytime he smiles as orwynn (that's the son) runs up to him after class for a hug and to show his daddy the art piece he had just done.

i think i'm going to get one of my own! hah. a father (note: NOT a granddad!) figure. i'll go cambodia and adopt a child and africa to adopt another one. i can't exactly give birth in namibia though. ah well, we'll see how things go! heh. i'm a bit smitten by him. i want to talk to him. i want to hear his deep fatherly voice. why am i always falling for the wrong type of people!!

bleargh!

at the moment now, i'm thinking of nothing else but orwynn's dad! (:

"There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

He may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me"
- Someone To Watch Over Me ~ Billie Holiday

defeaning silence

sometimes when i have too much time and start to think, my heart sinks knowing of the unequal fight that my soul has against my body. and then i feel the desperation rising. i feel the need to get out. to be at ease. i'm afraid the turmoil within my body will take over. encapsulate me and drown me with bitter hate and sorrow. and then it would be futile to resist. because then i'm fighting a losing battle.

because when the body and soul fight and are imbalanced. they slowly but gradually and painfully, destroy one another until the soul, with blunt obediance, yields before the body and be a slave to it's carnal desires.

am i?

missJ and i are getting awfully close. ok, maybe i feel that i am awfully close to missJ. it's like as if i have feelings for him. that in itself is unfathomable. an impossibility, for lack of better words. we are both too alike to have feelings for one another.

i had time to think about wot it is that i'm feeling towards him. for the moment, i like being with him. sitting beside him. conversing with him. subconcisouly, i think i began to parade him like as though he IS my boyfriend. i suppose that's why i'm not out looking for love. i suppose i made myself believe that i don't need it. i just need him.

as i sat in my seat on the bus back home with my hands on his thigh and staring out to the kallang river, i couldn't help but wonder. why is that there's this strong connection and feelings from me to him when we both know it cannot happen.

the more i thought about it. the clearer it became. i am not in love with him but i love his closeness. i love the way we are. everytime he is apart, i miss him and each time he is with me, i'm afraid that i'll miss him again. i kow i just want to be his friend but somehow that isn't enough.

it's crazy how i keep 'falling' for the wrong people. if i didn't know better, i'd say that it's all pre-planned to make my life miserable! hah.