defeaning silence

sometimes when i have too much time and start to think, my heart sinks knowing of the unequal fight that my soul has against my body. and then i feel the desperation rising. i feel the need to get out. to be at ease. i'm afraid the turmoil within my body will take over. encapsulate me and drown me with bitter hate and sorrow. and then it would be futile to resist. because then i'm fighting a losing battle.

because when the body and soul fight and are imbalanced. they slowly but gradually and painfully, destroy one another until the soul, with blunt obediance, yields before the body and be a slave to it's carnal desires.