i think i need to make a wish

somewhere out there holds the key to my heart. the answer to my prayers. the one who completes me.

somewhere out there, the one that completes me will answer my prayers and find the key to my heart.

but somewhere out there is too vague for measure. too questionable for comfort and too.. too idealistic.

hitherto unexplored and unexplained is the enigma of what my heart desires most. but what it desires most, what it yearns more, it cannot attain. it's like wishing for a necklace of stars. impossible dreams. wishful thinking.

i wait patiently for a man to come my way. a man, not a boy. a man who is available, in every sense of the word. a man who wants me as much as i do him. who loves me as i, him. who is willing to be all crazy and childish for me because that how i'm programmed but at the same time knows how and when to be serious, to plan our future. to keep me safe.

i wait patiently for a man who surprises me. a man who ignores me when i get upset with him but goes out and bring me the stars, the moon, the world just to see me smile again. a man who pampers me and protects me from harm yet be vulnerable for my shelter. a man who let's me take care of him. love him with all my heart.

i wait patiently for a man who smothers me with so much love it drowns. drowns me in a sea of kisses. a man who will give me the space to be myself. to find myself. to be there for him.

he need not be all handsome and princely, but enough to fill my heart and soul. a man to scold me and to hold me.

i want us to sit around and say nothing. just to be by his side makes me happy. i want to be able to wake up next to him and stare at his calm face. deep in dreams. i want to figure out what it is he's dreaming about. hopefully it's me. i want to be able to take care of him and rid him of his worries. i want to cater to him. to have his dinner ready. i want us to make plans. plans about our future together. plans about our present. just plan.

perfect. my mind drew blanks as i try to finish the entry. nothing seems to make it any more sensible. this wish i have. it's quite unfathomable. unfathomably sad. somehow, i'm not sure it'll actually take place.

nobody said it was easy. and no one ever said that we can't hold on to our dreams.

"so i lay my head back down,
and i lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
i know now, you're my
only hope."
- Only Hope