on the road to happiness
i went back to camp yesterday. i had a medical checkup to ensure that was fit to leave the military service. of course i was! fit and ready! i've been waiting for this day to come since boxing day of 2003!
i walked into camp and everyone noticed! everyone came to me and was saying that i've lost alot of weight. i couldn't help but beamed. a sense of achievement. elation. the same uniform that i wore for two years was much bigger now. much looser.
at the medical centre, they took my weight.. i lost 5kg! i was no longer 100kg. i am now 95kg! it was quite a disbelieve to me. i never thought i'd see it. at least now i've seen some results and can put my fears to rest. the fear that i was't losing enough weight. the fear that the pill is not working.
i've actually went down two pants sizes. my hips are smaller. at least according to my friends. i'm quite happy. i need to continue. 6kg left to that elusive 80+kg range. i can't wait to see dr chinatown next week and get my new prescription. i'm getting the 30mg pills. i need it. imagine the weight i'd lose after that!?
later that night, i watched my favourite grey's anatomy and there were moments that i felt were so good it'll tug at your heartstrings. it was something that i want to feel. something that i want to say. something i want to hear. i was blog hopping just now and i came across the quotes that i loved.
Meredith[to derek]: Okay… here it is. Your choice, it’s simple her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great. But, Derek, I love you… in a really, really big… pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I’ll be at Joe’s tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers… meet me there.
honestly, it's something so pure and true, i suppose. i suppose that is what love is. the fact that you love somebody so much that it hurts. that every minute spent with them is divine and every minute apart, hell. and even if they ever hurt you, it's not possible for you to stop loving them because that would have been tantamount to suicide.
that night while i was in a sort of a slumber, my mobile rang. it was singerS and he was on the phone talking about jeremy. jeremy's a guy he used to sleep around with and then thigns got sour and well, the rest just did not add up to a very nice ending. in any case, he was talking to me about how he was having feelings for jeremy but when i probe further and asked if it was love, singerS shunned away, saying that that is too strong a word for him to handle.
as i float through consciousness of sleeping and actually listening to him talk, i couldn't help but wonder. what is this 'feelings' that he is talking about? is it even real? or is it just some power trip thing?
all i know is that whatever the 'feelings' singerS had for jeremy, it's not the kind that is divine. the kind that meredith felt for derek. so in all honesty, he doesn't have any feelings for jeremy. he has feelings for himself.
i kept wondering what happened the past few years? singerS used to be my very best friend. the one i run to with all my problems. we talk endlessly about things. but now, he's changed. he has become a sort of person i know not of. it's as if what we had previously never did occur. he's a completely new person now. so much a stranger. so much, self absorbed? i don't know.
i just hope he finds what it is he is looking for.
anyways, another quote i loved completely from grey's anatomy.
derek: [to meredith] Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgiving’s, 11 birthdays, 11 Christmas’s, and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment … of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.
Bailey(nazi): [to derek] it's not hard. it's painful. and you already know the answer. you wouldn't be in so much pain if you didn't.
i walked into camp and everyone noticed! everyone came to me and was saying that i've lost alot of weight. i couldn't help but beamed. a sense of achievement. elation. the same uniform that i wore for two years was much bigger now. much looser.
at the medical centre, they took my weight.. i lost 5kg! i was no longer 100kg. i am now 95kg! it was quite a disbelieve to me. i never thought i'd see it. at least now i've seen some results and can put my fears to rest. the fear that i was't losing enough weight. the fear that the pill is not working.
i've actually went down two pants sizes. my hips are smaller. at least according to my friends. i'm quite happy. i need to continue. 6kg left to that elusive 80+kg range. i can't wait to see dr chinatown next week and get my new prescription. i'm getting the 30mg pills. i need it. imagine the weight i'd lose after that!?
later that night, i watched my favourite grey's anatomy and there were moments that i felt were so good it'll tug at your heartstrings. it was something that i want to feel. something that i want to say. something i want to hear. i was blog hopping just now and i came across the quotes that i loved.
Meredith[to derek]: Okay… here it is. Your choice, it’s simple her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great. But, Derek, I love you… in a really, really big… pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I’ll be at Joe’s tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers… meet me there.
honestly, it's something so pure and true, i suppose. i suppose that is what love is. the fact that you love somebody so much that it hurts. that every minute spent with them is divine and every minute apart, hell. and even if they ever hurt you, it's not possible for you to stop loving them because that would have been tantamount to suicide.
that night while i was in a sort of a slumber, my mobile rang. it was singerS and he was on the phone talking about jeremy. jeremy's a guy he used to sleep around with and then thigns got sour and well, the rest just did not add up to a very nice ending. in any case, he was talking to me about how he was having feelings for jeremy but when i probe further and asked if it was love, singerS shunned away, saying that that is too strong a word for him to handle.
as i float through consciousness of sleeping and actually listening to him talk, i couldn't help but wonder. what is this 'feelings' that he is talking about? is it even real? or is it just some power trip thing?
all i know is that whatever the 'feelings' singerS had for jeremy, it's not the kind that is divine. the kind that meredith felt for derek. so in all honesty, he doesn't have any feelings for jeremy. he has feelings for himself.
i kept wondering what happened the past few years? singerS used to be my very best friend. the one i run to with all my problems. we talk endlessly about things. but now, he's changed. he has become a sort of person i know not of. it's as if what we had previously never did occur. he's a completely new person now. so much a stranger. so much, self absorbed? i don't know.
i just hope he finds what it is he is looking for.
anyways, another quote i loved completely from grey's anatomy.
derek: [to meredith] Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgiving’s, 11 birthdays, 11 Christmas’s, and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment … of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.
Bailey(nazi): [to derek] it's not hard. it's painful. and you already know the answer. you wouldn't be in so much pain if you didn't.
posted by ryanstarr @ 11:54 AM
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